Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
