I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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