I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
