Im at strip club and am horny
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
