so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
