Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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