i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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