last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
