before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
