omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
