Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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