we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
third nipple confirmed
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
there is puke in my bra ... again
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