So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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