I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
