This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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