glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
