And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
