I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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