He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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