Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
