Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
