He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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