Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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