I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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