she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
