Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
and she was petting her beer can
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
