This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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