Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
