hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
