Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
