is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
