Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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