thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
