just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
