The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
