The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
