I love black thongs
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
