i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
