her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
