Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
