God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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