weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
