That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
