What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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