btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
