Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
kristin has been a bad kristin
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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