dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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