and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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