Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
