ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
