I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
