before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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