I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
