I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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