to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Dick very happy bro
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
