Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
