the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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