Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
