How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
