make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize