ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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