fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
