Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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