I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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