I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
