I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize