i would punch a child for taco bell
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
