The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
