My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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