Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
