There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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