it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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